Yankee in a Red State

The ramblings of an expatriate New Yorker in the South ~ formerly known as The Kudzu Kronikles ~

Gotta love Scott Adams' sense of humor. 
This is what political chat is like ... so true it's almost scary.



While we are on the subject of humor, my most-favored contemporary writer, Garrison Keillor, has written a nice piece on terrorism.  Here are a few excerpts:

We are engaged in a struggle between freedom and the forces of terror, my little macacas, and mostly I side with freedom, such as the freedom to look at big shots and stick out your tongue and blow, but of course terror has its place too. The dude strolling down our street at night does not break into our house to see what's available because he is terrified that if he's nabbed, his girlfriend Janine will run off to Philly with her ex-boyfriend Eddie who's been hanging around. She's the best thing in Benny's life right now. So he walks on by and leaves our stereo be. ≈   A lack of terror may encourage crooks to operate brazenly, knock over the candy stand, trip the nuns, hurl garbage over the balcony, and that's why you have cops, and also to keep the college kids from getting sick in our shrubbery. ≈ OK by me if it's OK by you. I don't imagine that coffee sales will be affected or that Paris Hilton will be, like, "Whoa, this is so not cool," and, like, text-message her buds to join her on a hunger strike. The greeters at Wal-Mart will still smile and the football season will go on. They might flash a bulletin at halftime, "Terror Threat Forces Postponement of Election," and most people would be OK with that. If Mr. Cheney thinks it necessary to suspend the Constitution for a while, surely he has his reasons. The man inspires trust.

If you don't "get" Keillor's gentle sarcasm then you probably shouldn't be reading my blog.   Start by listening to "A Prairie Home Companion" and come back to see me in a few months.

posted by: willothwisp at 18:00 | link | comments |

Canadians See Forest for Trees

Hooray!  Today's Toronto "Star" has this to say about Limbaugher the Cheese:

Now, I know this may offend those who suffer from this particular condition, and these individuals might not like it much when I suggest that a certain person with this diagnosis is exaggerating his symptoms, but I have to say, I think Rush Limbaugh is just pretending to be a dick.

Yes!!  Excellent!!!  American media are way too chickenshit to stand up to the big bully.  Perhaps they are afraid of ClearChannel, the conservatives' propaganda monopoly of choice.  Perhaps they are cowering in fear that Rush will take them to task on his daily radio spew of hatred and paranoia.  As if the Oxycontin addiction were bad enough, not to mention being caught at the airport with Viagara in an unmarked - or mismarked - medicine bottle, and let us not forget the now-almost-sixteen years he has spent verbally eviscerating Bill Clinton (can we say obsessed?)  his attack of Michael J. Fox is indication of a radical new low that I hardly knew existed.  And I've seen some disturbing things in my lifetime.

Linwood Barclay, the author of the article titled "Everyone Knows Limbaugh's Just Faking," goes on:

While the right-wing radio host does exhibit most, if not all, of the common characteristics of this behaviour, it's so rare for all of them to coalesce at a single moment that one can only conclude Limbaugh's most recent performances are nothing short of fraudulent.I'm no expert diagnostician, but nobody could be this big a one. Limbaugh must be acting.

Hooray Linwood, up there in the Frozen North from whence I came.  You made me laugh on another day that dawned with troubling news from all fronts.  This was my favorite part:

At this point, it's probably useful to review the most common symptoms exhibited by a person with EDS (extreme dick syndrome) for those not up to speed on them: 1. Exhibits a level of arrogance rooted in a feeling of superiority, without having any attributes to feel superior about. 2. Is capable of achieving levels of hypocrisy (railing against drug addicts when you are one, for example) previously thought unattainable. 3. Blow-hardedness. 4. Is indifferent to the woes and misfortunes of the disadvantaged. 5. Lies his ass off. 6. Goes to the "6 items or less" checkout with a dozen things. 7. Never lets ignorance of a subject keep him from shooting his mouth off about it. 8. Believes facts are overrated. 9. Chews with his mouth open. 10. Always finds some little thing the waitress did wrong to justify not leaving a tip. Anyone who has four or more of these symptoms is very likely suffering from EDS. Sadly, at the moment there's no known cure for this condition. Researchers are still debating whether you're born with it, or it's a lifestyle choice. The real problem is, people with this condition don't make for a very sympathetic cause.But in Limbaugh's case, it's probably a moot point, since he's just putting on a show.

What should we expect from a failed sportscaster?

More of Barclay's article here.  Enjoy.  I did.

posted by: willothwisp at 17:23 | link | comments (1) |
politics, ramblings and rants

Swift Boats and Push Polls and Whiskers on Kittens

It's that time of year.  We are a mere two weeks out from the looming General Election and I am being inundated by email from various people to whom I have sent messages of support because I sure as hell can't send them money.  I got an email from John Kerry's office today introducing me to The Patriot Project.

In Democrat Taylor Marsh's words, The Patriot Project came about because of a need:

When you have front groups like the Black Republican Freedom Fund claiming in ads that "Martin Luther King, Jr. Was a Republican," you simply have to stand up and fight back. That's what we've done here at The Patriot Project. It's made a difference. However, we're still waiting for CBS to fess up on providing free air time to Vets for Freedom, the organization targeting Lamont and helping Joe Lieberman in Connecticut.  Maybe you can help. But since The Patriot Project began we've been able to not only highlight the front groups, but show the damage they do. It's not just about the front groups, however, because they don't exist in a vacuum. It's also about the nasty network of connections from front group to right-wing radio to blogs to websites and even cable broadcasting channels. The capacity for front groups to go viral with their message makes the impact even greater.

Marsh has decided to fight back against these quasi-Republican smear squads who, true to the Halloween spirit, are coming out of the woodwork faster than zombies in The Night of the Living Dead.  Their first target was, of course, John Murtha (D-Pennsylvania), who dared to speak out against our seemingly endless and futile presence in Iraq.  Related by tax status and ideology to Swift Boat Veterans For Truth, one particularly nasty bunch, Vets for Freedom, set out to discredit Murtha the same way the SBVFT smeared Kerry.  Marsh's purpose is to out these seemingly-innocuous citizen groups who tend to insist they are as fair and balanced as Faux News with no partisan partiality.  But, as Marsh claims,

"though Vets for Freedom repeatedly claimed to be "non-partisan" it turned up recently that “Vets for Freedom Action Fund” is a "527' organization. (This information only became available after the IRS released July 31 filing data.) So-called "527" groups are named after section 527 of the tax code, and are created primarily to influence the nomination, election, appointment or defeat of candidates for public office. For example, Swift Boat Vets For Truth and Club for Growth are 527 groups."

Marsh and her fellow blogger Dave Johnson sport a series of articles that reveal the slimy underside of the Republican party and their efforts to stop the Democrats in November at any cost.  They also reveal the ugly truth behind "push polling," which is yet another way of interrupting  your quiet evening after a tough day at work.  If you take one tired citizen who is one of the few who still do not have Caller ID and an insistent telephone pollster and mix in questionable rhetoric, you get push polling.  Push Polling, as Johnson explains, 

"is a political campaign technique in which an individual or organization attempts to influence or alter the view of respondents under the guise of conducting a poll."

It says a lot about the depths to which a self-serving entity will go to influence the midterm elections but then again, Republicans tend to believe that people are sheeple.  We have certainly behaved as such in past elections and before I get flaming comments from the neocons, let me assure you that the Democrats did not field anyone worthy of my vote either.  Stooping to the level of financing influence?  Please.  I thought that went out with Nixon and Watergate but I must be naive.  The fact is, the politics of dirty tricks will not go away.  It is a sore that has festered since the days of Tammany Hall and if it weren't for us moonbats, it wouldnt get lanced on a regular basis.

We need voices like Marsh and Johnson's.  The problem is bigger than we think and just when it seems the zombies have finished their danse macabre, they come up with new and innovative ways to sway the easily-led.

posted by: willothwisp at 03:16 | link | comments |

Paper Bag Time

I used to look forward to Sundays.  Today, however, I am glad that I have papers to grade, because I can avoid watching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers lose to whoever they are playing.

When I moved here, I could not have cared less about football.  I was a mild Buffalo Bills fan, being from Rochester and too far "upstate" to be interested in the Giants or the Jets (really a New Jersey team but no one really says that out loud).  I prefer hockey, actually, so it was nice to have an NHL team in my adopted city of Tampa and yet football fever overtook me.  It is hard to not jump on the bandwagon when everyone has a Bucs front license plate or flies car-window flags on game day (some diehards fly them 24-7, but they usually sport the Stars 'n' Bars of Dixie at the same time).  My husband is a Baltimore Ravens fan, and my son took up the standard-bearing for the Bills and so I took on the Bucs, who are, perhaps, the biggest losers of all time.  They were a national joke.  The spate of nicknames ("F*&caneers," "Tampa Bay Yucks," etc) did not deter me. 

Then we got John "Chucky" Gruden (so-named because of his uncanny resemblance to the "Chucky" character in the silly horror flick "Child's Play").  He took the team Tony Dungy built, won a Super Bowl, and it has been downhill since.  Bad year after bad year, I feel I am witnessing the Bucs of the 1970s.  Back in the 70s and 80s the Bucs were SO bad that fans (if one could call them fans) took to wearing paper bags over their heads so they would not be recognized on televised game days.  For shame.

I have my paper bag ready.  I haven't decorated it in Pewter and Red or anything.  I haven't even cut out eyeholes yet.  I figure I will fill it with today's newspaper for recycling and see if there's a good Saints game on.  Yes, I know.  Next to the Bucs, the Saints are the other losers of the NFL.  But they have a new Super Dome this year and in the interest of supporting New Orleans in her struggle to rebuild, I feel no guilt over abandoning the F*&caneers for the team that hired Reggie Bush. 

Call me fickle.

posted by: willothwisp at 15:47 | link | comments (1) |
sports, football

State of Denial

I have been reading Bob Woodward's book, State of Denial with more than passing interest.  Each paragraph elicits chuckles, tsks, outrage, and a self-satisfying (or is it scary) sense that what I suspected all along is true.  George Bush is the ultimate puppet president, the real decision-makers are Cheney and Rumsfeld, and the American public has been duped.

The pundits, of course, are either crowing in support of Woodword's revelations or, if they happen to be on Fox News or on one of Rupert Murdoch's Clear Channel talk radio stations, denouncing Woodward's book as outright fiction (see Rush Limbaugh).  With the fallout from the recent Foley scandal, it has been an interesting news week and the pundits' scramble to find a position they can stick to is fascinating to watch.

The best part about reading Woodward's book while it's still a hot topic, however, is that after one reads a particularly juicy tidbit one can turn to CNN or MSNBC and hear a breakdown of the latest revelation. 

I almost want to stop reading because I know how this ends, but Woodward's narrative is compelling.  It's one of those easy reads that is hard to put down.  I will report more when I finish.

In the meantime, the Republican rabid right in my Politics chat room is imploding.  Hysteria reigns.  No one seems to know the difference between a homosexual, a pedophile, an internet predator, and a deeply-troubled horny congressman who happens to prefer teen boys.  If Foley's object of affection had been under the age of sixteen, I wonder if this would be so confusing?

posted by: willothwisp at 12:46 | link | comments (1) |
politics

Hey God, are you listening?

Another sad dawn.

The last vestige of peace and tranquility has been shattered by violence.  The Amish folk of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, did nothing to deserve the horrific events of yesterday.  What on earth is wrong with people?  After the school shootings in Colorado last week, I said to my husband "I wonder how many copy-cats will come out of the woodwork?"  I hate it when I am prophetic.

It's all so overwhelming, you know.  The violence in the Middle East, school shootings, the point-blank murder of a patrol officer and his dog in the neighboring community of Lakeland, FL, and as I write this, local police are trying to find a van carrying at least two people who fired shots at police a few hours ago.  I am not going to go into a diatribe about gun control, because who knows if these people lawfully owned their guns or not?  And gun control is beside the point.  There is no point here.  If we add to this sickening soup the recent perversions of Congressman Mark Foley and his instant messages to a sixteen year old page, the daily disappearance of innocent children who turn up murdered -- I could go on but what's the point?  It is more than I can take.

My heart grieves for the little girls who were executed in Lancaster County.  This is a new grief, stacked on top of grief that had already settled in my heart.  Innocence is lost, or can find no quarter.  Time moves on and the world grows angrier and darker.  Such a sad dawn.

posted by: willothwisp at 11:43 | link | comments (1) |
ramblings and rants

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